Home is where you feel safe
by terribly-vague
Summary: Edward wakes up in the middle of the night having a panic attack. Winry walks in half way through and helps him out of it.
1. Here's chapter 1

_No nsfw this chapter._

 _Edward watched as the attacker took hold of his right arm. A loud ringing was replaced with the crash of metal expanding and breaking apart. He felt his body lighten as he fell to the ground, the remains of his automail flying through the air, hitting the ground, scraping his face. He tried to back away, tried to get up and run. His right cheek hit the ground with a splash. Alphonse was screaming. The rain no longer falling on him as a figure loomed overhead with an outstretched arm. A gunshot._

Edward's eyes flew open to total darkness. His chest was on fire and his stomach lurched into his throat. He took sharp shallow breaths one after the other, able to hear nothing but the rapid pounding of his heart in his ears. His entire body was throbbing with the panicked rhythm. _I can't breathe._ He rolled onto his side, gripping at his bangs with his hand and panting violently. _What's going on?_ Searing pain in his chest. _My lungs are melting._ His rapid heartbeat quickened even more, his breath became more shallow, fluttering in and out of his tired lungs at an alarming rate.

When the bedroom door opened his vision blurred, his pupils refusing to adjust to the sudden light spilling in from the hallway. He did not feel Winry sit down next to him on the bed. He could not hear her calling his name, asking what was wrong. He didn't feel the mattress shifting under her weight as she laid down next to him, trying to get a look at him. He did, however, feel the warm skin of her palm gently land on his face. His hand fell from his hairline, wide eyes darting up to look at the figure laying next to him. His vision cleared to the full view of Winry's pale, extremely concerned face. Almost immediately, his heart rate began to slow and his breathing became less labored. The pain in his chest dissolved with every breath he took in. His hand found it's way to hers and pressed her palm firmly against his cheek. He closed his eyes and took long, deep breaths; the heat of Winry's skin against his pulling him back to Earth. The shaking in his lungs slowed and eventually came to a stop. He opened his eyes again to the relieved look on his friend's face.

"Edward?"

"Yeah?"

"You okay?"

He took another deep breath.

"Yeah."

"You wanna talk about it?"

Instinctively, the corners of his mouth turned downwards. He shook his head slightly, leaning in to press his forehead to hers. The contact kept him grounded to reality; having her so close to him was a comfort he didn't quite know how to explain. "Can you...stay here for a bit?" He asked sheepishly. He was expecting her to say no, that she had to get back to work on his arm if he wanted to leave on time. Instead, she pulled her thumb across his cheek, moving it back and forth against his skin. He could feel his face flush; each nerve she grazed shot to life with a spark. She smiled.

"Yeah, I can stay for a little while."


	2. Here's chapter 2

No nsfw this chapter

Winry heard a crash from down the hallway. Picking up speed, she scurried down the hospital wing to find the source. Sure enough, she heard it. Shallow and labored breaths coming from the hospital room Ed was sleeping in. She opened the door, this time to find him sitting on the floor, clutching his legs and rocking back and forth. She knew what it was now, why this happened to him. The first time she had ever seen him like this was just after him and Al had tried to bring their mother back, lying on the bed delirious and terrified that his brother hated him. It hadn't happened again (that she knew of) until he returned to Resembool with his arm completely destroyed, apparently right after Scar's attack. She had heard him yell out in the middle of the night and decided to check on him; maybe he had stubbed his toe in the darkness. When she opened the door she found him lying sideways in his bed hyperventilating with his one good hand in his hair, dangerously close to ripping chunks loose from his skull.

She hadn't really known what to do back then, seeing him so unnerved and frightened was so out of character that she had started to panic a little herself. The only thing she could get out of him was "I had a nightmare. It's nothing, Winry." She didn't understand how a nightmare would have such a violent effect on him until Major Armstrong filled her in on the details of Scar's assault. The next one had been the very next night, this one stemmed from a dream about a girl named Nina. Though he never wanted to talk about the dreams that forced him awake panting and screaming in the middle of the night, he was always so relieved to come back to his senses and find her sitting next to him.

So this time, when he was mumbling about hommunculi and monsters, she crossed the hospital room in a few steps and wasted no time coaxing him down. Sitting directly in front of him, she cupped his face with both of her hands. "Edward, breathe" she said, using her thumbs to wipe away the tears that had spilled over. She took slow breaths, urging him to mimic her. In a matter of minutes his breathing had returned to normal and the tremors throughout his body had stopped. After getting him to lay down on the bed, she plopped down on the mattress next to him and hitched herself up on her right elbow. Using her right hand to hold her head up, she used her left to reach over and pull the band out of Ed's hair. She ruffled his braid and began combing through the golden strands with her fingers. A sigh escaped him when she scratched at his scalp gently with her fingernails.

"You had another nightmare, didn't you?" She asked.

"Yeah." Was his short reply. He rolled onto his back and turned his head to his right, sighing again when Winry took the opportunity to scratch the left side of his head.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"I figured as much," she sighed. "You know, it might actually help you to talk about the scary things that happen to you. It might give you some closure and then it won't bother you as much." Winry lifted her head to set it on her arm, using both hands to smooth out the strands of Ed's hair. When she was done, he turned on his left side to face her.

"Not this time." He looked down at her hand, which was now resting comfortably on the bed between their chests, her other one tucked away behind her head again. "This time I'll only hurt more people by talking about it." She frowned. _What is he talking about?_ She stretched her arm out again, placing her hand on his cheek and running her thumb over the soft skin, like she had grown accustomed to doing whenever she found him panicking by himself. She would probably never get used to the way it always seemed to make Ed's face a slight pink, however. "Go back to sleep, alchemy freak."


	3. Here's chapter 3

No nsfw this chapter

"Will you guys shut up?! Do you know how early I have to wake up tomorrow?" Ed turned to see Winry standing in the doorway, one hand on the door she had angrily pushed open and the other clutching the hotel pillow. _Why did she bring her pillow with her?_ He thought, a smile creeping over his face. _What a dork._

"Oh right, I forgot. You're catching an early train to rush va-" _Uh oh._

"You know what? You should cancel that. Why don't you stick around and relax." He tried to play it off, but her expression went from angry to confused. He wouldn't be able to talk himself out of this one.

"I mean it's just that, well, you know, there's... always a chance that my arm could get broken. Or even... destroyed." _What the hell where did that wrench come from? Does she keep one on her person at all times? Those pajamas don't even have pockets!_

"Are you planning on destroying it?!" There it was again; that furious look in her eyes.

"I can't believe you. Just promise you won't do anything too dangerous." Her expression changed again; from anger to something Edward recognized all too well. She was worried.

"So uh... is that a yes? You'll stay?"

She sighed. "It doesn't look like I have much of a choice, does it?"

 _"You, boy. You're the Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric, correct?"_ _He looked up just as he felt himself being pulled up and away by the arms of his coat. A man stood by them with an outstretched arm._ Not friendly _. Snapping to his senses, he transmuted a wall between them. Before he could get back on his feet, however, a bright blue light and an explosion indicated even more danger. Edward lay in rubble as the attacker approached him through the hole he had just created._ Who is this guy? What does he want? This is bad. This is _really_ bad. I have to move. Now! _"Let's go, Al. Run for it!" His boots scraped against the ground as he struggled to his feet, turning and running as fast as his legs could carry him towards the staircase leading down to the city. Just as he reached the railing, another explosion rang out and he found himself yet again face to face with the man who had appeared. Another explosion. The ground fell out from underneath him; he found himself falling head first towards the wet concrete of the staircase below him._

A jolt sent his eyes flying open to the cracks lining the room's ceiling. _I'm in the hotel_ , he told himself. He forced as slow of breaths as he could muster with his lungs trembling. They wanted to give out, the pounding sound of his heartbeat sending signals of danger throughout his body. _Not in front of Al. Pull yourself together._ Sitting up, he placed both feet firmly onto the carpet below him. His elbows placed themselves on his knees and his head fell into his hands. He pressed his fingers into his skin, rubbing away the tension as best as he could. "Brother?" He looked up through his fingertips to see Al sitting on the opposite couch, facing him. "You were dreaming."

"Yeah." Edward sighed, sitting up straight and pulling the tie out of his hair. "It actually wasn't as bad as they usually are. This one was more just a jump scare."

"A jump scare?"

"Have you ever had those dreams where you feel like you're falling and you wake up right before you hit the ground?" Ed began combing through his hair, placing the tie that held the strands in place on his flesh wrist. He had learned the hard way not to put any bands on his automail arm after a particular incident that resulted in Winry having to cut his favorite hair tie out of the inner mechanisms of his arm.

"I think so. It's been a while since I've had any dreams."

"Oh. Right." He looked down at his feet. "Sorry."

"You don't have to apologize." At this, Edward looked up at his brother. "You look pale, brother. Winry has food in her room, doesn't she? Maybe you should go see if she's awake and ask her for some." Though he was technically just a soul now, he was still one of the most genuinely good people Ed had ever met. _How did we end up like this?_ Ed smiled.

"Alright."


	4. Here's chapter 4

No nsfw this chapter

Standing in front of the closed hotel room door Edward realized it probably would have been a good idea to put pants on; walking around the hallways in a tank top and boxers probably wouldn't go down too well with management if they saw him. He knocked twice, and when he heard a mumbled "yes?" from the other side, he reached for the door and pushed it open.

Winry was lying in her bed; a book in her hands and a small candle flame dancing from the bedside table. "Hey." She looked away from her book to see Ed standing, quite awkwardly, at the room's entrance, scratching the back of his head and attempting to look anywhere but straight at her or at his lack of pants. Sitting up, she tapped the bed next to her, sticking her nose back between the pages. "Decided to stay awake since you don't have to get up early tomorrow?" Edward said, crossing the room and sitting next to her, his feet dangling off the edge of the bed.

"Not particularly. Couldn't sleep." Ed frowned. _She_ is _worried_. "Why are you up so late? Don't you have a big day tomorrow?" He swallowed. When he didn't say anything, she looked up again, setting the book in her lap. "You had another nightmare, didn't you?" He looked up to meet her gaze. _Yup, there it is_ , he thought. _Concern._

"Yeah."

Winry closed her book and sat it on the bedside table. "But it wasn't a bad one. It was more a-" he stopped when Winry grabbed him gently by his left arm, pulling him closer to her.

"Lay down."

She leaned forward and blew on the candle flame, extinguishing it before she pulled him onto the pillow and threw the comforter over the both of them. Flabbergasted, Ed laid there motionless as she reached for the hair tie behind his head and pulled it loose from it's place. Immediately she went to work scratching his scalp, smiling when he closed his eyes and sighed.

"You know, you're the only one who will scratch my head." He said, tilting and twisting so she could reach all his sweet spots.

"I'm the only one who you'll even let touch you." She pulled the short hair away from his face and scratched gently at the base of his forehead. The face he gave her in return had her fighting back the urge to giggle. "And you're kind of an asshole."

"Hey!"

"It's true! Maybe if you weren't such a jerk more people would line up for the opportunity." Edward chuckled.

"Opportunity? What does that mean?"

"It's actually pretty fun." At this, he opened his eyes.

"Yeah? How so?"

"Well, for one, your hair is really soft and it's fun to play with. And that face you make when I get right here-" she pulled her hand downward and began to scratch at his hairline just behind his left ear, to which he responded with another sigh. His eyes closed, his brow furrowed, and his lips parted slightly. "That face is pretty priceless." Winry readjusted her position, settling on her left side and tucking her left arm under her head. She stopped scratching his scalp, opting instead to rubbing circles into the back of his neck. They lay in silence for a while, listening to the noise of the cars outside and the late night partygoers retiring to their hotel rooms.

"Hey, Ed?"

"Hmm?"

"You and Al. Your lives have gotten really dangerous since you joined the military, haven't they?" He opened his eyes again. The light seeping in through the window pane probably lit his face up like a match, but it cast shadows across her furrowed brow and downturned lips. "You keep telling me it's not my business and it doesn't concern me, but it does. If you two are in danger I need to know. I don't like just waiting around for the next phone call to tell me you've gotten hurt again." He didn't want to lie to her, but he couldn't put her in danger with the information he had acquired. Him and his brother were digging things up that he didn't even entirely believe was possible; he was starting to think that maybe they had bitten off more than they could chew.

"Winry, I promise that when all this is over I'll tell you what's going on, but it could take a while." He reached up and placed his hand over her wrist, squeezing gently. "I'm not entirely sure I'd even know how to begin explaining what's happened just yet. It's actually kind of confusing." Exasperated, she sighed.

"You Elric brothers don't make any sense to me." Her tone was brimming with irritation, but she didn't pull away. In fact, she did the opposite. Placing her forehead against his, she closed her eyes. "Are you gonna go back to your room soon or are you going to stay here?" she asked.

"I'm actually pretty comfortable. Do you care if I lay here for a bit?"

"Not at all."

Smiling, he closed his eyes. Before long, he felt sleep begin it's takeover. He expected to be able to lay there for another 15 minutes before Alphonse would come to see what exactly about eating an apple took so long. He did not expect Winry to be the one to wake him.

"Ed, you're breathing on my face."

 _Holy shit._

His eyes flew open to determine that he had really felt what he thought he had. They had shifted even closer together during his snooze; their foreheads were no longer connected but their noses had pressed together and their chins were now touching. Yup. He had, in fact, physically felt her lips move against his. Her hand had not moved from his neck, his quickening heartbeat underneath her palm gave him away quite easily.

"S-sorry." He sat up, completely unable to comprehend why something so simple could make his face burn like it did.

"Ed are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. Al's probably worried about me. I'm going to go back to the room, okay? I'll see you tomorrow." And with that he made his way to the other side of the room, but not before he stubbed his toe on the center table. Mumbling curses to himself, he reached for the door handle and twisted the contraption loose from the door frame. Once he had crossed the threshold and was safely out of Winry's line of sight, he collapsed against the hallway, letting his head thud against the drywall. He stood there for several minutes, trying to grasp why his heart was beating so damned fast. He wasn't having a panic attack, that he knew for certain. This was much different. _Of all the things you've seen and done you get worked up over this?_ Making a fist, he placed his metal knuckles against his temple. _What is going on with me?_

He retreated to his own room only when the impending footsteps from the stairwell indicated visitors would soon be getting a great view of blue and white pinstripe boxer shorts wrapped around a tiny, red faced teenager. When he entered the room, clearly much more visibly flustered than he had been when he left, he got the usual comments from Alphonse. "You were gone a while, brother. What were you doing over there?" If he had a face, Ed was sure he would be grinning through squinted eyes. Without a word, he fell into his bed and threw the covers over his head.


End file.
